


Scientifically Opposed

by thesaltydragon, UnfortunatelySux



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff, Kid Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-19
Updated: 2018-02-19
Packaged: 2019-03-21 10:18:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13738767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesaltydragon/pseuds/thesaltydragon, https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnfortunatelySux/pseuds/UnfortunatelySux
Summary: An impromptu make out sesh goes wrong.





	Scientifically Opposed

Evan usually loved field trips. He liked doing something different yet completely safe and planned. He even liked the inevitable writing assignments that came the next day asking if they learned anything from their experience. He usually liked field trips, though he wasn’t too thrilled about this one. This science lab had been in the news nearly a decade ago for dangerous human experimentation, and Evan was a little afraid to step foot inside—even on a school sponsored trip—no matter how much the company had ‘changed.’ He’d seen Spider-Man. He knew what could happen on these kinds of trips. With his luck, a spider would just give him death, not cool powers. At least he had Jared there to console him. 

Jared Kleinman had never been one for paying attention to school outings. Didn't care for them much. Just meant lots of unnecessary walking and annoyingly long bus rides. What made it worth the inconveniences, though, was Evan’s enthusiasm towards such things. His eyes always sparkled as they roamed museums and, in this case, science labs. 

“Evan, what are you looking at?”

Evan didn’t want Jared knowing he was a little afraid of the people who worked in the building they were touring. “Nothing, just waiting, y’know?”

Jared hummed, glancing around at the other people in the room. None of them were really paying attention to them. No one would notice if they– “C’mon,” Jared grabbed Evan's hand, slipping out of the crowd easily and turning them down a hallway.

Evan didn’t fight him off. “Jared, where are we going? We can’t get separated from the class! We’ll get lost! And in trouble!”

Jared didn't respond as he located the first unlocked door, pulling Evan inside. As soon as the door shut, Jared was all over Evan, pressing him into the wall as their lips slid against each other.

Was that all Jared wanted? Evan never could resist kissing his boyfriend, so he saved his complaints for a time when he could voice them without having to separate from him. It didn’t matter where they were, if Jared kissed him, Evan would oblige, and the former knew that. He often used that to his advantage.

Jared's hands snuck up the back of Evan's shirt as he pulled him closer, the momentum automatically causing the pair to stumble backwards blindly. Jared spoke up in between heated kisses. “Is this okay?”

Evan wanted it to be. “W-We can’t be doing this, we’re in someone’s office! O-On a school trip! This is dangerous, Jared.” He managed to say it all while being sporadically kissed, stumbling backwards, and trying not to give in completely. 

Jared paused to laugh for a second. “I meant are the kisses okay, not the location.” He dug his nails into Evan's shoulder blades ever so slightly. 

Well, if he put it that way, “Y-yeah, they are, but really, we could get in a lot of trouble.”

Jared hummed. “Yeah, sorry, I care about your comfort, not the possibility of us getting caught.” He dove back in with a renewed fervor, catching Evan off guard and causing them to stumble even more.

Evan’s back hit something, and he assumed it was the wall again. He paid it no mind as he kissed his boyfriend, unable to say no to Jared. His love for him would always come before his fears. 

Jared hummed into the kiss, detaching himself from Evan's lips only to trail them down the side of his neck.

Evan’s head was tossed back in a reflex to give Jared more skin to work with. He didn’t notice the tingling feeling building in his chest. 

Jared’s hands had been dragged down Evan's back, gradually nearing his abdomen as his mouth trailed Evan's collarbone. And then, there was a light. Jared's eyes fluttered open curiously. He instantly froze, retracting completely. “Evan!”

“What?” Evan squeaked, looking around for whatever Jared was talking about. “Is someone coming?”

Jared was panicking. Very much. “Evan! You're _glowing_?!”

“Um, thanks? I moisturize, you know. It’s a process.”

Jared grabbed Evan's arm, holding it up in front of his face.

There was indeed an actual sort of light coming from Evan’s skin, or, rather, under it. “What the _hell_?!”

Jared was trying his best to stay calm. “Are you okay? Do you feel okay? Does it hurt? What's happening? _Are you okay_?”

Evan definitely noticed the tingling now, but by then, it had turned into dizziness. “M-My head hurts,” he said, his vision going blurry. 

Jared couldn't move as the light coming from Evan's skin gradually increasing until it was blinding.

The light died down after a few moments of blinding Jared. Evan wasn’t there when it was gone. Well, not the Evan that was kissing Jared only minutes ago. 

Jared yelped in distress. Evan was still there, but he was… “ _A kid?!_ ”

The kid-Evan looked about six or seven years old, staring up at Jared with wide, curious eyes. “Huh?”

“E-Evan? Do you know who I am?”

The kid tilted his head to one side. “Jared…?” His voice was small, and he couldn’t quite pronounce his R correctly. 

“Do you know how we got here?”

The question was ignored. “You...you have glasses like my friend Jared…”

“Ev… it's me. I am Jared.” Jared knew that something seriously fucked up had taken place. But he had no idea _how_.

Evan looked skeptical. “You’re not Jared. He’s a kid. Like me. He’s my best friend!”

Jared sighed, heart melting slightly. “I– okay. Do you want me to help you get out of here? You don't know where we are, do you?”

Evan looked around at their surroundings. A white room with metal tools. “The doctor? Are you a doctor?” He stepped just a bit back from Jared. “You don’t look like a doctor.”

Jared held his hands up in surrender, not moving any closer to the boy. “You're right, I'm not a doctor. We're not at the doctor. We're at a science lab. You… hit your head. We need to go find someone who can help, but I need you to come with me.”

The child’s expression changed from curious to worried. “I-I’m not supposed to go places with strangers. Mommy and Daddy say so.”

He knew Evan was going to say that. He always had been an obedient child. “I know. And that's true. But we're alone in here. Neither of us want you having to be alone in a strange place. How about, instead of you coming with me, You just… walk beside me and we go find some adults who can help us?”

Evan thought it over. It made sense to him. “Just don’t tell Daddy, okay? Sometimes he gets real mad. It’s scary.” He looked at the door, but made no effort to walk near it. 

Jared grit his teeth at the mention of his father. Fuck that guy. “I won't. Promise.” Jared wandered over to the door slowly, making sure Evan was following.

Evan stayed near the wall, but he edged closer to the door and Jared. “We’re at a science lab? Like in movies?”

Jared nodded, speaking softly. “Just like spider-man.”

“Oh,” Evan nodded. “Jared was Spider-Man for Halloween once.” It was obvious he wasn’t at all the anxious kid he grew up to be. His troubles hadn’t started yet, for him. He still had his father, his mother was around. It wouldn’t last. 

Jared smiled at him, nodding. He remembered that, just barely. “Oh, yeah? My name is also Jared, by the way. Nice to meet you. I hope we can be friends, if that's okay with you.”

“But you’re a stranger,” Evan countered. “My only friend is _my_ Jared. He’s not a stranger. Oh! And the oak tree in our backyard! It’s a friend too.” Apparently, little Evan had a lot to say, like usual; the only difference being no apologies. 

Jared's smile didn't fade. Young Evan was adorable. “Well, maybe we can become friends, then I won't be a stranger anymore and you’ll be friends with both Jared's.” 

Evan hummed in thought. “I guess you’re right. But you can’t replace my bestest friend. Or my tree. You can come after. Why are we at a science lab?” Nothing changed—Evan still flipped the conversation that quickly to this day. 

Jared pulled the door open, allowing Evan to step through first. “It’s a school trip. We must've gotten separated.”

“We’re on a field trip? So Jared’s here! Where is he? He’s my bus buddy!” Evan walked backwards out of the door, excited by the insinuation that his friend was there. “Are you a scientist?”

“No, I’m also visiting. I don't know where the others are, that's what we're trying to figure out. If you see anyone, tell me, okay?”

“Okay…” Evan turned around so he could walk normally. He took small steps. “Is that someone?” He pointed to a man in a lab coat walking to the room they were just in quite angrily. 

Jared called out to the man. “Um, sir!? Excuse me! We, um, got separated from our school groups. Also, uh… can I ask what's inside that room?” He pointed to the door.

The man turned to face Jared. “I’m in a hurry, kid. Go down the hall to the elevator, the schools are meeting back up on the first floor.” He ignored the question about the room. 

Evan looked up at the stranger. “Are you a scientist?”

The man only nodded, disappearing through the door, which was slammed, followed by the sound of the lock setting into place. 

Jared huffed, rolling his eyes. “How incredibly unhelpful.” He continued down the hall to the elevators.

Evan followed him. “Why’d ya wanna know about that room we came out of?” His voice had turned a little nervous. 

“Curious.” Jared brushed the question off. “Tell me about your friend, Jared. What's so great about him?”

“Oh! He’s just the best. He tells people to leave me alone when they bother me! He’s like a real Spider-Man, y’know? And he lets me play his Game Boy sometimes. He has every Pokémon game! He says I have bad taste in Pokémon, but he just doesn’t like the Grass types.” Evan shook his head, ashamed. “And one time I was climbing a tree, but I fell, and he’s the only one who even cared! My daddy told me to walk it off, but Jared gave me one of his Ninja Turtle bandages for my elbow! Those are his special ones. Only for emergencies.” He’d rambled the whole way to the elevator. 

Jared hummed, pressing the button to call the elevator. “Oh yeah? And what's so great about grass Pokemon, exactly? They get killed by fire type so easily.”

“They’re cute! You have to agree that they’re cute! Shaymin is the cutest!” 

Jared quirked an eyebrow. “You really like the word cute, don't you?”

“Should I stop saying it?” Evan looked very upset, almost disappointed in himself. 

Jared shook his head, giving Evan a bright smile. “I didn't say it was a bad thing.” Okay, young Evan was really cute. “Sounds like you really care about your friend, huh?”

“I do! We’re buddies!” Evan smiled, his previous worry completely gone in a snap. 

They elevator dinged as the doors opened. “He must be wondering where you are, too. I'm sure he's probably worried.”

“Maybe,” Evan said, waiting for Jared to step in first. “If he’s noticed.”

Jared obliged, frowning slightly. “What do you mean?”

“Just, sometimes he gets really excited, you know? And he forgets I’m there.” Evan shrugged like it was no big deal. “Can I push the button?”

Jared nodded idly. “I don't think he ever forgets about you, Evan.” He was always, always aware whenever Evan was with him.

“Sometimes he does. But that’s okay. His games are more important! He’s real good at ‘em!” Evan mashed the 1 button with his whole fist. 

Jared grimaced to himself. He remembered how he used to pretend to ignore Evan when he actually just wanted his attention.

Evan hummed to himself as the elevator went down. He was confused, sure, but Jared would know what was going on. He usually knew lots of things Evan didn’t. For that reason, he wasn’t overly nervous. 

Jared came back out of his memories as the door slid open. “Let's go find someone who knows what's going on, yeah?”

Evan nodded, this time stepping out in front. He waited for Jared to follow him. “We can find Jared! He probably knows!”

Jared gulped nervously. What was Evan going to do when he couldn't find him? How had this even happened? One second they were making out, and the next Evan is 8 years old? That doesn't just _happen_!

Evan bounced ahead, seeing the school buses outside. “Maybe they’re out there! Jared always gets to the bus first so he can pick his favorite seat!” 

Jared shrugged, following Evan outside. Better to keep an eye on him, right? Who knows what else could happen. He watched Evan look around, eyes shining. “You really love nature, huh?”

“Yeah!” Evan squealed. “It’s so green! I love green.” He stopped walking suddenly. “Look at those flowers, Mr. Jared!”

Jared snorted. “You don't have to call me Mr. I'm not that old.” He watched in amusement as Evan bounded towards the patch of flowers excitedly.

“You look...twenty six. That’s old.” Evan really had no concept of age. He knelt beside the flowers, completely forgetting the buses. 

Jared laughed, rolling his eyes. “I'm seventeen!”

“Still old!” Evan giggled, showing Jared some of the flowers he’d managed to pick. “I think Jared will like these!”

Jared smiled at him. “I'm sure he will.”

Evan picked a few more, some for his mom, one for his dad. “What were we doing again?”

Jared looked around. “Trying to find an adult.”

“Oh!” Evan stood up with his flowers. “A bus driver is an adult, right?”

“Yes? But I don't know that they Will be of much help right now.”

“Oh,” Evan mumbled. “There are scientists inside!” He’d forgotten about teachers. “What do we need help with?”

“Um,” Jared started, but cut himself off quickly. Evan was glowing again. “Uh oh.”

Evan wasn’t fazed. “Huh?” He cocked his head to the side. 

“Jared is in love with you, and he always will be.” Jared had panicked and said the first thing that came to mind. It was not a helpful thing to say.

Evan blinked, laughing a little in the confused kid style. “What?” He stared up at Jared for an explanation. 

And then, Evan was once again engulfed in a blinding light. Jared prayed this meant he was going back to normal.

Evan closed his eyes, too confused and surprised by the light to say anything. Soon, the light dissipated around him. He opened his eyes. 

“Evan!” Jared tackled his boyfriend in a hug. “Thank God!”

Evan didn’t move, letting Jared hug him. “What? How did we get outside?” He looked down. He was holding a bunch of tiny flowers. “What?”

Jared pulled back. “You turned into a kid?! And then you turned back just now?! It was like the end of Shrek.”

“Shrek is banned in the Hansen household,” Evan joked. He turned serious. “What do you mean I turned into a kid? What kind of an innuendo is that?”

Jared didn't answer, instead grabbing Evan by the cheeks, smashing their lips together. “Don't ever do that again! You scared me!”

Evan was thrown off guard by the kiss. “Jared, what did I do?!”

Jared punched him in the arm. “You dumbass! Why do you let us make out in an science lab!? That's dangerous!”

“You know I can’t say no to you! What happened?!” Evan rubbed his arm where Jared had hit him. It hadn’t hurt, but he needed the sympathy. 

Jared hugged him tightly again, pressing his face into Evan's chest. “I love you, Evan.”

Evan awkwardly wrapped his non-flowered hand around Jared. “Please explain how we got outside,” he pleaded. 

“You turned into a 7 year old.”

“No, really, what happened?”

“I'm not kidding.” Jared held him tighter. “Also, I never forgot about you when we were kids. Never. Not even when I was playing Pokemon. I just ignored you for attention.”

“That’s a crappy way to get attention.” Evan looked down at the flowers he couldn’t remember picking. “You’re serious about the kid thing?”

“Yes, and I'm sorry, I know that it was stupid I don't know why I thought it would work, but I did. I love you.”

“Oh my god, Jared, I told you we shouldn’t have gotten away from the group! You’re lucky I turned back!” With all the news surrounding the science company, Evan didn’t have any doubts that something like Jared was describing could happen. He vaguely remembered his skin glowing, but it felt like a dream. 

Jared was shaking, the effects of everything finally hitting him. “I know, I'm so sorry, What if something else had happened?! God, Evan, I can't live without you, I'm sorry, I'll never do anything like that ever again!” 

Evan for once was the calmer of the two. He rubbed Jared’s back. “J, you didn’t mean to. And nothing else did happen, I’m fine, see? I’m assuming I picked these flowers for you.”

Jared let out a shaky laugh. “Well, technically you picked them for your friend Jared who isn't me, because he's a kid like you and I'm 'Mr. Jared’ because I'm, like, 26.”

Evan winced. “Did I really say that? God, I was so annoying as a kid.”

Jared laughed again, pulling back far enough to press a kiss to Evan's lips. “You were adorable.”

“You probably only think so because most likely I just babbled about you the whole time.” Evan rolled his eyes. 

Jared beamed up at him. “Maybe.” He pouted suddenly. “You still haven't said it back, Acorn!”

“That I love you or that you’re adorable? Because both.” Evan handed him the flowers. “We should get on the bus, though.” He pointed to where the students were filing onto the buses. “And I’ve got the weirdest urge to play Pokémon.”


End file.
